Written by moi while hiding from relatives in the bathroom Introversion is a thing when you need a break from the folks you love most in the world

My body is a sin

Pillowy mounds of flesh that carved out humans

Miraculous, joyful beings with light in their eyes,

Dimples and thighs. Smiles that are perfection

Yet I’m the one sweating

Covering up my shame around my elders

Because honor is connected to modesty and lack of sexual proclivity, right?

Even though the babies they cherish are a product of that most beautiful union

That secret mustn’t be whispered too loud

Our bodies are a sin

Breasts are meant for feeding, yet if used, are met with disgust

On display for the pleasure of men only

Menstrual blood signifies fertility

Yet only brings us shame if we stain

A slip of cleavage makes us devilish

Tight pants? Short skirt? Even more so….

Pierced ears? Sexualizing babies never became easier

A hairline so frought with feminine beauty that it must be covered

The only place we shouldn’t be covered are beaches,bars, and bedrooms

In those venues, if you’re covered up too much, another label awaits

Prude, frigid. Unwanted, unloveable

Simply because one is unable to turn sexuality on and off like a switch

What a world

We are always covering up for someone, aren’t we?

From the disapproving looks of our Mothers and Fathers

A racist grandma who doesn’t believe in a black persons humanity-never mind our own.

Never mind her own, either

With views etched in ethnic supremacy and feminine inferiority

Our co workers. Who hopefully, won’t get too handsy at the office party

From complete strangers. In case their roving eyes linger too long

Our lovers and friends. Who label us sexy or slutty based on the most arbitrary measures. Smoky eyes? Good. Slightly more smudged eyeliner? Rough night, followed by even rougher-sinful, shameful-SEX

We’re just asking for it, aren’t we? By living and breathing in the world of men

If we exist in the plain of perfection,

We are at the same time revered and reviled

We must be gold diggers, right? Anyone who looks like that is up to no good

If we do not, though, our womanly value is rendered worthless

Being fat OR unfuckable-an insufferable crime

Or-worse yet-both at the SAME TIME.

There is a fate worse than being cat called, you see. It is NOT being cat called

Worse than derogatory words cutting into our humanity

Is being ignored

Invisible

Out of this fear women are set up to compete with each other

Within the colosseum of patriarchy, the last one standing wins

Youth and beauty are a gladiator’s most powerful weapon

The ultimate prize? Mastering the arts of seduction. Being ‘kept’-not forced to go back into the ring for another round

We are just cogs in this eternally spinning wheel

Seeking confidence in bringing each other down, not the societal confines that Imprisons us

Even when we win, we lose

We are slaves. Gladiators. Queens, confined to one king or more

Fit into their space you must or you’ll sink

Follow their rules or flay about

Be smart-but not smarter than them

Be sexy-but that is a really short skirt!

Be confident-but don’t be conceited! Who do you think you are, anyway?

Work out! But don’t get TOO muscular!

Be thin! But why don’t you eat a burger!

Men love curves! But don’t you know excess weight is unhealthy?

Stop complaining! But hey, why didn’t you stick up for yourself? Why didn’t you speak up earlier?

Women who don’t reveal these unspoken truths to their daughters are only setting them up for failure

I see my baby girl and am only sickened by her fate

Reading books about Marie Curie and Mae Jameson will not be enough

They succeeded despite the rules, but is that her truth? Look at what they did to Hillary Clinton. To Cleopatra. To most women with ambition. The lies and smears start before she ever could

They will pollute the history books till the end of days

A 34 year old woman who doesn’t want kids? The horror!

A Latino lesbian who does hundreds of hours of community service? Hardly a human

A transgender youth who wants to love without fearing their truth?

It’s honesty or die for them

TV villains are judged for their sexuality, not by the twisted virtues of their character

Shame

Like caged gladiators, we must fight to the death

As warriors we must be strong

Sink or swim, we must carry on

It is time to go out and be with my babies

To be a citizen of the world