Racism doesn’t exist, they sneer, while simultaneously making fun of your beautiful name only meant to honor a goddess and long dead great village chiefs that came before you , your body hair, skin color, way grandma dresses. 20 years later, they take on a ‘no shave’ month challenge and do yoga like she did and are celebrated like the whimsical little hippies that only THEY are allowed to be. Suddenly, the thing that marred your humanity and existence is trendy, edgy and hip. Wonder why that label sticks with Downtown Karen Brown and not me? Take the bindi of your face and the namaste out of your mouth until we invite you to do so. It doesn’t belong there. It never did.
Racism doesn’t exist, they said while sneering at your ‘gross’ food that once kept entire villages from dying of malnutrition for thousands of years before their civilization even existed. That was the only sacred gift families could give to another before long journeys and difficult plights ahead. We gave you spices for your cold potato salad that weren’t even on your radar before the 12th century, show some respect for something that isn’t yours just once .
Racism doesn’t exist, you’re rich after all, you think you’re ‘better’. while simultaneously making fun of your cheap clothes cause your penny pinching immigrant parents were in constant crisis mode activated by weaponized poverty and white supremacy, while making ignorant comments about a religion they copied that even you don’t 100% believe in while refusing to sit next to you, snidely replying this seat is taken and whispering about you behind their back-that is, only if you were lucky, they were usually emboldened enough to do it to your face. You weren’t THEM, after all -you didn’t get to matter
Racism doesn’t exist, they sneer, while making fun of the way you walk, talk your personhood itself. While asking if you worship cows while they smear their own feces water on themselves in the name of salvation
Racism doesn’t exist, I’m not white/straight/rich either, they’d sneer, while carrying water/spewing out half truths/weaponized talking points for the thing that actually hurt them. Believing the bile fed to them. It wasn’t us. It was never us.
Racism doesn’t exist, the same things happened to me. Betty, I have no doubt it was as painful for you as it is me, but they were making fun of your acne and braces, not your personhood. Your humanity. Your identity itself. Your very existence. Also, btw, it just goes to show that the standards of white supremacy/blonde nordic ideal/‘family’ (lol)values you failed to uphold hurt you too.
Don’t play the victim, they’d cry, but when you threw 1/180th of what they did back in their faces, the crocodile tears began and never ended. It was a goddamn epidemic. Victims don’t sludge through mud with average grades and ignorant teachers who hated them for breathing to rise amongst the ashes and become a physician, writer and a mother, thank you very much, do they? My rise isn’t something to be jealous of, of course I got lucky in many ways but all it means is if I can do anything, so can you-and then some.
Don’t play the victim, you act arrogant and put your foot in your mouth too often. Sure, I can acknowledge my fatal flaws but then so should you-your own fragility and arrogance. You scored a touchdown at the peak of your high school career and called yourself the GOAT. They cheered, not berated you. Maybe stop talking for once and learn something. Why is our first instinct to always bring women ‘down’ a peg? Have you ever asked yourself why we were meant to be kept down in the first place? Start questioning. Loving ourselves and blowing our own horns doesn’t mean you aren’t special too. It’s only ugly if we drag your own name into the mud.
Do I blame them? Well, yes and no. Their parents drank. They suffered the crushing weights of coal mines, injury and often, the poverty and drug addiction that followed. They’ve been fed anger and lies for so long they can’t tell which way is up and keep sinking deeper and swimming downwards instead. All they know is what they’ve been told. Poke holes in the talking point they’ve blindly recited, they can’t defend it and get angry. Think that you’re calling them stupid. We know nothing about your intelligence. But if you can’t defend your argument-well, do you really believe it? Or did someone tell you to believe it like you believe in your own soul and salvation? Maybe,just maybe, God sent us to remind you of the real truths that exist outside of your disinformation bubble.
Tha truth is, hurt people hurt people. But this isn’t Braveheart. They’re no longer the brave underdog Scottish lads and lassies fighting for their own freedom. They have somehow become the oppressor itself.
And yes, not all. But I’m not talking about you then, am I? Sit down and realize what your friends/colleagues/mothers and fathers did. Like it or not, what you LET them do while you stared on silently. We don’t blame you as much as you think, you’d better believe we’ve had to do it too. And have some humility. Leave them in the dust and join us in the sunshine where yes it still pours sometimes but there are tree leaves and flowers and beauty and love and GROWTH.
When you know better, you do better. All the mud and mistakes and weariness on my face and bones should teach y’all that.
What you’re experiencing now isn’t racism, just backlash to the racism of your own people-and it’s been LONG overdue. Yes, everyone is rightfully angered. No it’s not all on you but maybe get past your own personal feelings and agenda and just listen. Your ancestors ’othered’ more people than they included, and yea, that isn’t your fault-but if you and your children continue the pattern, it’s on you too. If you refuse to speak up, it’s on your too. The time for courage is now. We’ve multiplied, and are doing well. It burns some of you, we see you. Ignore those darker urges like Christ would. Do better. Join us in the sun.
The good old days y’all had were at someone else’s expense-never forget. Let’s forge something new and better ahead WITHOUT trampling on other folks-gay, trans brown, black, female, etc this time. Let it be seen that I reduced my own identity to etc because I’m as conditioned as you. We are ALL works in progress. Come join us in the sun.
Uma Parmar 
Powerful. And heartbreaking. Thank you.
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